by Sharon Gorman, D.C.
I have had sort of a revelation this week. I realized that I am a leader. When I was younger I always prided myself in being very independent. I thought that if I wanted something done right I would have to do it myself. That was my way of controlling situations and creating the results that “I” wanted.
As my life expanded into several offices and a husband and several kids I then couldn’t get everything done myself anymore so I had to let other people do things for me. I seemed to be trying to juggle too many balls at the same time. I found this pretty difficult because I still thought that no one could do it as good as I could and that I was sacrificing the quality of the accomplishments because I could have done it better if I could have done it all. I couldn’t. I guess I resented that and some of the people around me because they couldn’t measure up. I was leading them begrudgingly as a compromise that I made in order to get everything that “I” wanted to get accomplished accomplished. I sort of dragged them along with me on my journey. I wished that I didn’t need them but I did need them so I learned how to more effectively manage them. I learned to empower and have people accountable. I found that to be the key, yet privately I still wished that I could do it all myself and still fulfill my dreams.
Somewhere in the last week or so I have realized that the most important part of my growth and my usefulness in this world comes from being a leader and not in the actual work that I can single handedly produce. My role here on earth is to serve God by serving man. I wondered why I needed other people to help me create my vision and all of a sudden it has become very clear. All these responsibilities and people are perfectly in place to teach me how to rise up and be a leader. I have been a leader for years and all of a sudden I see myself as a leader. By the nature of the beast being a chiropractor is being a leader and I’ve been a chiropractor for a long time and a leader for a long time yet today it seems so clear that I need to step up. I need to lead from a position of strength. Not from a position of default. I was ashamed that I needed other people to help me realize my dreams and now I see how the whole challenge is part of the divine plan for me – – – and you.
I used to think that it was my role was to give to people be it patients, family, other Chiropractors etc. etc. If I am going to be of more use to God and the people around me I need to allow them to contribute back to me. Because I am a leader is no excuse not be human. I need to allow myself to be vulnerable enough and open enough with the people in my life that they can contribute back to me then and only then can I be whole and continue to give at the level that I want to give. Giving is safer than receiving because I have the control or imagined control over the situation. To not allow people to contribute to me is to cut myself off and to cut off the safety pin cycle and it will subluxate my life.
Leaders inspire others to realize their potential. Am I allowing people to express their creativity and aliveness while being in my leadership? Am I holding a clear vision of the purpose of our relationship? Am I nurturing and being nurtured? Am I healing and healing them? Is the world being enriched by the product of our mutually beneficial relationship? Is the product of the team far superior to the product that I could produce as a lone ranger? My arrogance sometimes says no yet as I grow as a leader I see where the combined effort is far more useful to the world as I inspire others to be leaders and live God’s will for me rather than my own. I want to keep it small and safe and God wants me to evolve and be able to continue to serve. If I fatigue than I am no use to anyone even myself. To “enlarge my territory” I need to surrender to this lesson. I am a leader. I can’t keep anything I don’t give away.
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