By Sharon Gorman, D.C.

Sometimes I get so busy I forget to be Grateful. I get so wrapped up in what I am doing that I forget to just be. When I forget to be then next I usually forget to pray. When I forget to pray I can easily forget that I am not running the show. I know there is a God and I know it is not me but sometimes I try to run my life on my power instead of seeking to understand God’s will for me. I know I am in trouble when my prayers sound a lot like a wish list. I act like God is the local Mall just sitting there waiting for me to tell him what I want and deciding whether he wants to give it to me or not. I don’t like to pray for my life to turn out a certain way and then judge if there is a God or not dependent on how well he delivers what I think that I should get. I am setting myself up for disappointment that way. I pray that God be with me and give me strength to deal with all of the consequences that I create by the decisions that I make and that others make too. I don’t think that God “let” my parents die over the last couple of years but I think that God was and is there to make me strong to deal with it. I don’t think that God doesn’t want us to not experience the full range of emotions that happen in life. Why would God want to rob us of our feelings. I know it is said that “God wants us to be happy” and I believe that but I also think God wants us to feel sad when sad things happen in our life and God wants us to feel scared at times and elated at times and disappointed at times, get my drift. If we are going to decide that life is only working out when things are going “good” then we are setting ourselves up for a lot of disappointment. Then there are the times that I put everything on “hold” in my life (in my mind) until something happened like I graduated from school or got down to a certain weight. I put conditions on my life and happiness. That “hold” is just and illusion. A day spent is a day gone. Good or bad.

When I find my head in a funky space where I start judging myself and others or I think I am not getting my fair share in life I need to stop, get quiet, write down at least 5 things that I am grateful for and choose to change my state of mind in that very moment by doing so. We all get funky. We are human. As humans though, we have free choice. Choose to not let your mind dwell on the negative. You can’t choose your feelings but you do get to choose your actions. I can choose to realize that usually when I am dwelling on the negative it is because my connection with God has gotten a little loose and by realizing that there is something greater than me I can put my life and my “stuff” in perspective and see them as lessons of life rather than some pit of despair that the world has thrust upon me. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself and be grateful at the same time. I am not a victim of my feelings or of the world. I am a child of God with his warmth and protection only a thought and prayer away. Thanks for letting me share these personal feelings.

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