Gossip – a Matter of Trust

By Sharon Gorman, D.C.

I love to Gossip. The only problem is that the price has gotten too high. When I gossip I am usually trying to make myself feel better by putting someone else down. Why do I need to put them down? Maybe I’m feeling pretty low myself.

Sometimes when people gossip I discipline myself not to participate but boy I sure do like to listen to it. I have had to force myself to stop that too. When I am listening I am part of the conversation anyway. I am giving the other person a sounding board to let it out. I’m an accomplice. I’m actually just as bad. It always makes me wonder what is that person saying about me when I am not around? It can’t be good.

I try to avoid people that gossip also because they are negative. They are also being sneaky. Would they say these things to the person’s face? Are they saying it because they are trying to help the other person or help themselves? Maybe they are just talking because they are bored. I find it is easier to look into other people’s business than to deal with my own stuff and by talking about other people and not minding my own business I can distract myself from the stuff that I should be dealing with myself about myself.

One of the areas that gossip can effect us as chiropractors is if we are stupid enough to put down other doctors in front of patients. Obviously it is not too cool to put down another chiropractor because it makes chiropractic look bad but it also looks bad on you if you put down any other kind of doctor. Why do you have to put down anyone in order to make chiropractic better? Chiropractic is better in and of itself. Chiropractic makes a lot of sense on it’s own merits.

By putting down Medical doctors you might alienate certain people who still have a lot of faith in their profession. Now we might not agree whole heartedly yet from experience that the less you alienate people the better. We need to keep them in our sphere of influence if we want to love them into seeing chiropractic the way that we do, or at least closer to it. My husband tells me that I should keep my own side of the street clean before I concern myself with anyone else’s. That makes a lot of sense in practicality because I can’t change anyone else. I just can become more whole and healthy myself.

Part of my sanity comes from minding my own business. I try to use all my spare time putting out positive energy into my world and the universe. Gossip isn’t part of getting better. If I have something to say to someone about their behavior than I need to say it to their face. Another way that Gossip can hurt us is amongst the team in your practice. I always tell my staff that if something is not right than tell the person that can do something about it. Many times when there are several people they actually team up amongst themselves and talk about other staff members or the doctor. If there is a staff member who is not pulling their weight they can tell you and work on creating a solution either by training them further, by letting them go OR they can gossip about that person behind their back. Sometimes they think it makes them look better and instead of helping that person along they complain about that person. When I hire new people I always warn them about this and tell them that I have zero tolerance for gossip and why? I think it is like a cancer in the practice. I think it is like a cancer in having good relationships with other people. Think before you talk. Will someone be hurt if they knew what you are saying? What is truly your intent in opening your mouth. That old saying comes to mind: If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. Be more aware of what you are putting out. When you open your mouth keep in mind that if you go down to the level of gossiping you will attract other people who live at that vibration too.

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Dr. Sharon Gorman is a graduate of Life Chiropractic College. Upon graduation, she associated with her mentor Dr. James Sigafoose. She opened her own practice in June of 1985 and in 3 months was seeing over 100 patients a day. Within 4 years, she had established four chiropractic practices seeing combined over 5000 patients a month. Now, married with 4 children, she still practices part time and manages 3 successful practices. She is a speaker at Dynamic Essentials, New Beginnings, Parker Seminars and is the founder and hostess of the Focus Philosophy Weekends. Visit her website at: www.focuschiropractic.com