Just Thinking About Relationships

By Sharon Gorman, D.C.

I was just thinking about relationships, specifically the relationship that you have with your spouse or significant other. Both people need to get what they need out of the relationship or they probably won’t stay in it. Wouldn’t make much sense to stay in a relationship that you aren’t winning at. I know that one of the most important things to my husband is that he feels like he is pleasing me. He wants and needs my approval as much as I need his. In all the arrangements that we make we try to set it up so that we utilize our best talents and gifts and we do things for each other and for our family that we both can successfully acheive and feel good about ourselves.

My husband and I have a sort of unique situation but not as unique as it used to be in our society. I guess you can call him a stay at home dad. Only thing is that he doesn’t stay home much at all with four kids from 10 to 14 years old. Early on in our relationship we realized that it would be a lot easier to make the kind of money that we wanted to live on for me to work outside the home rather than him, in addition to the fact that I love what I do so much that I wouldn’t consider giving it up back then or now either. Before we had kids we had four chiropractic offices and he took care of the public relations amongst other things but when we had kids we felt it was much more important that they had a full time parent. My husband takes care of these kids with the same gusto as I practice chiropractic. He is great at it and he knows it. I can acknowledge him with my whole heart and absolutely mean it. Do you see how we set it up. Now look at your relationship. Do you feel like you are setting it up so that you can win? How about your partner? Do you always feel like he or she doesn’t measure up or disappoints you? Would you want to go through life knowing that your partner feels that way about you?

My husband coaches the wrestling team and the football team. He is on the board of directors of the gated community we live in. He is hands down the best new patient referrer in my practice. Rarely a week goes by that he doesn’t send a new patient in the office. In addition he takes care of the house. He arranges for any major repairs, does the minor ones and makes sure the cleaning lady shows up, the exterminator does his job, the bottled water is delivered and the dogs get to the groomer. He does the laundry and cooks too. He makes sure all of the cars are in good repair as well as the office. I have only started the list. He pays all of the bills and takes care of all the financial matters. He deals with the banks, the accountant and makes sure we get the best rates on our credit cards, cell phones etc. I hope he has time to read this article, it would make him so feel good and that is part of MY job.

He treats me like a queen and demands the same respect for me from the children. He acts like he is lucky to have me as his wife and the children have caught on. That’s not a small feat with two teenage daughters.

And catch this part. Sometimes when I talk to him about an issue or problem I am having he will give me his opinion and if I don’t feel like I have what it takes to carry it out he say, “What do you mean?. . . your Sharon Gorman.” He uses this tone of voice that tricks me into thinking I can accomplish anything I want out of life. That trickster. He doesn’t always agree with me but when push comes to shove he is always in my corner.

He is just what I needed in a husband and he has risen to the occasion. True I had to and have to let him know what I need but I try to never ask him to give me something that he doesn’t got.

Now let’s pan out a little. Let’s look a little further. Have we set it up with our staff members that they can win? Have we utilized their talents properly or do we ask them to give us something that they don’t got? Do we acknowledge them or do we feel like we are doing them a favor giving them a paycheck because we think that they are falling short? Would you want to work in a situation set up like that? Are you setting them up to win? Do your patients fall short? How about your parents? Your kids? Your friends?

Do you see people and accept people as they are or do you set them up to disappoint you so that you can feel like a victim of them? You can’t change them you can only change you. Are you willing to change? Are you willing to be responsible for the relationships in your life working out? Are you setting them up to win? Are you setting YOU up to win? (Ouch – a lot to look at there)

PS: Thanks Ron for the last 17 years!

– – – – – – – – – –
Saturday July 28th – Focus Philosophy Day
3 Special events in one day!

Armand RossiArmand Rossi
First: Gorman Chiropractic Life Center
Grand Opening – Open House (New Location)
12 Noon – 3 pm
Lots of food and LIVE entertainment !!!
Lay lecture for patients @ 1PM
Everyone Is Welcome !!!

Second: “How-To” Session On Building A Family Practice
3 Pm – 5 pm at office
By Dr. Armand Rossi
Third: Focus Meeting Begins at 7 @ Hotel
Dinner at 6 pm

Gorman Chiropractic Life Center – 570-476-4100
21 Crystal St., E. Stroudsburg, PA
Exit 308 off I-80. Make a right at ramp. Pass 2 lights and make a left at end. Make a left after rail road tracks. We will be on your right.

Howard Johnson Hotel
Route 611 Bartonsville, PA (exit 302 off I-80)(570) 424-6100 for Reservations (ask for Focus Rate)
Contact Sharon Gorman at (570) 350-4091

Future Focus 2007 Dates:
August 18th, September 15th, October 20th, November 10th, December 1st